Awakening feelings
by Bent Rose Standing Tall
Summary: Bella and Edwards wedding is only two weeks away but then Edward sees something that changes everything And Long hidden feelings are released. big changes are in store for the cullens, will edwaed habe a new mate? and what will happen to bella?
1. Chapter 1

**discalimer: i dont own the twilight universe or the characters i just play with them :-). **

**Disclaimer 2: this story wil depict a loving relationship between two men. If you don't like that sort of thing don't read it simple :-) **

**Note: reviews are greatly appreciated I like to know what people think of my work. Constructive criticism also welcome but please nothing rude insulting or homophobic. **

I've just returned from hunting and I am on my way upstairs to find bella. I enter the living room and freeze. Carlisle is sitting on the sofa with esme tangled in a Intimate embrace kissing passionately. I can't remember ever seeing them kiss before in fact I'm sure I never have. Suddenly I am over come with jealously. I want to be the one tangled in Carlisle's arms. No. I Can't want that surely I can't I'm engaged for pity's sake. I need to think. I head for the stairs but instead of going to my room where bella waits I go to the library. I have to think. I sit down and I consider what I saw downstairs and the random spark of jealousy I felt. I can't want Carlisle surely I can't the fact that he is male is irrelevant love is love regardless of gender but he's married, and I'm due to be married in 2 weeks and he's my father. I consider that last point. I realise that although we pretend to be father and son to make it easier to interact with the human world I have never seen him as a father. My maker my companion my teacher my guide and my friend but never my father. Which makes me wonder if I could possibly have feelings for him. My first instict is to think no. But I am beginning to wonder if that answer is just a reflex. I think back over the last century there was defitately nothing romantic at first in sure of that. Gratitude for saving and teaching me friendship but nothing more. Then I think about when esme joined us and I rember having a similar spike of jealousy then but at the time I buried it without thought or analysis. I study the following decades in detail and I consider how exactly seeing Esme and Carlisle kissing made feel. And I am forced to accept something something that a part of me has known for a long time something I have denied to myself but can't deny any longer something that threatens to turn my world upside down... I love Carlisle.

I love Carlisle. I realise that now But what am I going to do. he certainly dosent feel the same way and I am engaged. I love bella. She is my mate my other half. Isn't she? Don't be stupid I tell myself of course she is. I do nothing I decide. I ignor these feelings pretend they don't exist. They have been buried for decades they can be buried again. A part of me wonders if that will work or if now that i have accepted I feel tj it is too late but I ignore that thought. Then the door opens and Carlisle walks in.  
"Oh sorry Edward I didn't realise you were in here"  
I look at him as if I am seeing him for the first time. His blonde hair shimmering in the light from the hallway. His firm muscular chest barely hidden beneath his t-shirt he is gorgeous. I look back to his face and his eyes capture mine golden and deep beautifull. Stop it I tell myself forcefully he's still the same Carlisle stop looking at him like that. It's been 2 seconds since he spoke and I hear in his thoughts him wonder why I haven't replied.  
"No its fine Carlisle I was just thinking do come in"  
He comes over and sits next to me.  
"Are you alright. You seemed upset when you left the lounge and you have the strangest expression on your face"  
He places his hand on my shoulder. It feels like molten fire seeping through my shirt and suddenly I want his hands all over me and I want to feel evey inch of him under my hands. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I scream at myself those kind of thoughts are totally inappropriate.  
"You know you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you don't you"  
Yeah anything but this i think but instead I say "yes I know don't worry im fine."  
I stand shrugging out from under his hand.  
"I'm going to go and find bella. I haven't seen her all day"  
I leave the room and make my way to my bedroom. I walk in and see bella spiralled in the bed reading a book. She is beautifull of course but I realise in that instant that what I feel for her is a fraction of what I feel for Carlisle. And suddenly I don't know wether I can go through with the wedding. I don't know what to do. Instant frozen for 30 seconds bella hasn't noticed me then I hear Alice gasp downstairs she has had a vision and I have to know what it is.


	2. Chapter 2

I turn and fly out of the room downstairs to where Alice is sat in a large chair in the den.  
"Alice what did you see "  
She looks at me horrified. "The wedding. It just went so very blury as if a decision is starting to erase it. I don't know what could be causing it"  
She looks at me and sees a part confused part scared and part guilty expression  
"It's you" she half yells. "Your considering cancelling the wedding. Why?! What's going on"  
Her cry brings jasper running. Jasper sends a wave of calm to Alice who is hyperventilating which is rather a feat for a vampire. then he turns his attention to me. I can tell he dosent like what he feels from me.  
"Your emotions are in turmoil doubt, fear, panic, and" he pauses unsure "love its deffinately love but two lots of love You are feeling love growing but also love dying. It dosent make sence how they can exist together What is going on Edward?"  
Alice speaks before I can.  
"The wedding is fading he is choosing to Cancel he is almost sure. I can't see why." she pauses thinking. "you said love growing." then turns back to me  
"Wait.. Edward are you falling for someone else?!"  
I look at the door and see it is shut, good. This room is soundproof even by vampire standards we built it that way so we would have somewhere for private conversations.  
Alice and jasper are looking at me expectantly. My shoulders slump and I tell them everything. They listen in silence not interrupting. When I am done I can't look up. Jasper speaks first  
"We'll that explains the emotions."  
"What are you going to do " Alice demands  
"I don't know. After how I felt when I saw bella I know that I have changed that my love for bella is gone, that now I have released my feelings for Carlisle I can't ignor them. The only fair thing to bella is to call off the wedding. But I can't tell Carlisle how I feel. He wouldn't understand it would hurt him, and esme. It would make things weird." i looked at them suddenly intense "Promise you won't tell anyone any of this?"  
"Of course we won't you can trust us. " they both reply.

"Thanks. I'm going for a run I need to clear my head"  
I rush out of the room and through the kitchen. I don't see Carlisle standing in the kitchen worry colouring his features and I don't notice him quietly call to Alice.

I race though the woods as fast as I can throwing all my anger and frustration into my run. When it is all used up i slow and stop. I lean against a tree. And stare up into the branches for a good 5 minutes.  
Edward you are an idiot. I say aloud to myself. Why do you have to realise that you love him now of all times. I briefly consider that at least realising it now is better that realising it after the wedding but it doesn't make me feel any better.  
Why did I have to fall In Love with Carlisle at all I ask aloud again.  
Then I hear movement. Carlisle steps through the trees shock and something i can't name are evident in his features.  
He heard me.

He quickly recovers himself and his face returns to his usual calm expression.  
"Alice told me your cancelling the wedding"  
I look at the ground  
"Yes I have to"  
"Why"  
"You know why"  
"When did you realise"  
"This morning. When I saw u kissing Esme. I tried to deny it but I couldn't"  
"Edward" he began but I interrupted  
"Let me speak Carlisle. "  
" I know nothing will change I know nothing can change. I don't expect it to. You have your mate and I understand that. I'm not going to try and mess with that "  
He interrupts suddenly "Then why cancel the wedding "  
"Because its the only way to be fair to her. because when I walked into my room and saw her I realised that the love I felt for her had gone. These feeling that have been buried so long have overtaken me. I can't feel anything else right now. Maybe in time I can quell them subdue them and bury them away again and then maybe I will find a mate but not now"

I looked up and carlisle was looking towards the ground the expression on Carlisle's face was unreadable. I searched his thoughts for an explanation but his thoughts were a tumultuous jumbled mess I couldn't make sense of them. I could only catch vague ideas. Pain worry and indecision. He was fighting with himself he was trying to decide something but I had no clue what. I tried to reassure him  
"Carlisle I will be ok. Don't worry I know you don't return these feelings I don't expect you to. I know I am a son to you."  
That caused a reaction. His head snapped up. Eyes boring into mine. I couldn't look away. His thoughts still warred but then suddenly he was calm. he had made a decision but he was hiding it from me. His eyes took on a look of resolve.  
"You don't know anywhere near as much as you think you do" he whispered quietly. "I have never seen you as my son. You have been my companion my student my confidant and my friend but never my son." He paused lookin at the ground again. Then continued without raising his head.  
"It's time for you to know the truth... watch " he whispered and he started to show me memories. Beginning with the first time he saw me.


	3. Chapter 3

(Carlisle POV)

i walked swiftly into the hospital. Dusk had just fallen and my shift was beginning. It was hard to leave the hospital when dawn broke but I had to. Despite the winter the sun shone bright here and the wards all had large windows letting in the sun. And besides I got enough strange looks doing 15 hour shifts every night. Someone would say something if I was here in the day as well. I walked up to the nurses station.  
"Anyone new anyone gone" I asked.  
"Yes. The jones family all died during the day I'm afraid. And Mrs mason and her son Edward came in about mid day. "  
"Thank you"  
I made my way onto the the ward to see the new arrivals. Mrs mason was bad I'd say she had a few days at most. Then i looked at Edward he was a borderline case he might pull through he might not that was clear at first glance, but it was not his potential survivor status that caught my attention. Even in sickness he was beautifull and then he spoke  
"Help my mother give my medicine to her"  
In that instant a feeling that I couldn't place washed over me I filed it away for analysis later. Over the next few days I kept a close eye on them. they both deteriorated, Mrs mason faster than her son. Although Edward was stronger I could see now that he wasn't going to survive. The thought of him dying caused me pain although I didn't know why.  
One night I arrived and went straight to check on Edward and his mother. She had taken a turn for the worse. She only had minutes left. I sat next to her. Suddenly she grabbed my hand and croaked to me  
"I know what you are. I know you can make him like you, i know you can save him. He has to live it doesn't matter if he isn't human as long as he is alive. Promise me you will save him"  
I had been lonely for some time and had considered creating a companion but I knew that i couldn't steal someone's life. Yet here lay a boy who's life was over who I couldn't bare the idea of dying and who's own mother not only gave me permission to change him but demanded it. It wasn't a hard decision to make.  
"I will save him tonight" I promised her earnestly.  
"Thank you" . She relaxed back into the pillow released my hand closed her eyes and took her last breath.  
I took them both to the morgue then smuggled Edward to my home. There I changed him. He wasn't quiet like I had been and every scream tore at my heart. I used the time to consider the feelings I had felt in his presence. I thought I knew what they were but I wasn't sure. Three days later when Edward awoke he stood tall strong and healthy and I knew in an instant that my analysis of my feelings was correct. I was in love with him.  
In the same instant though I knew that I couldn't tell him. Let alone act on my feelings. He was a child in comparison to me. He needed me to be a guide a teacher and a friend. And that is what i resolved to be. I put my feelings in a chest in the back of my mind and pondered them no further.

The years flashed past and little things would catch my attention. Spark feelings of love. The grace with which he hunted the beauty with which he played the piano the joy he found in learning. I placed each spark in my carefully constructed chest before it could flare and continued to be his guide mentor and friend. Then he decided to leave for a while and I was sad to lose my companion but also heartbroken. I put the heartbreak in my chest and tried to ignore it. It was a lot harder to ignore the heartbreak than it had been to ignore the easily locked away sparks. When Edward returned I didn't care about what he had done i was simply overjoyed to have him back. My heart soared the day I saw him walk back though the door. I forgave him instantly. I put the intense love fuelled joy in the chest and focused on helping him come to terms with himself and get back onto the path he wanted to walk.

More years passed and manny more sparks ignited and were placed in the chest, i never opened it to see how much was there i would not risk allowing it to escape,

Then Esme came. I knew I had to save her when I saw her brought broken to the hospital. A drive that was both like and unlike the drive that had made me save Edward compelled me to save this heartbroken woman. She took to immortality beautifully and fit with us immediately Edward took her as a mother and she him as a son and our duo became a family. i realised i could love Esme and she could love me so we became mates, i didn't allow myself to analyse how this love compared to my love for Edward, i didn't even allow myself to wonder.

Not long after Esme came we moved to Rochester and one night I found Rosalie hale broken and abandoned on the side of the street. The drive to save found me again and I changed her. I both hoped and feared that Edward would find a mate in her. I didn't want him to be alone but at the same time I didn't know how I would feel seeing him with someone. But to both my relief and my disappointment he saw her as no more that a sister. Soon after she found emmet and 4 became 5

Time passed and we all grew and developed both individually and as a family. I noticed Edwards growth especially. He learned more by the day and became more sure and confident as he did. More sparks ignited. His joy at learning his 5th language. His pride the first time he brought down a grizzly bear (emmets idea) graduating university for the first time and many more. They were all quelled and added to the chest as always. I didn't allow myself to consider or even truly recognise the fact that the sparks were gradually getting more frequent

Then Alice and jasper joined us and soon jasper was noticing the jolt in my feelings each time a spark ignited. I managed to keep him from realising the true cause of them and he assumed my jolts of affection were directed at Esme. I soon learnt to control my emotions better and jasper stopped noticing.

Time passed as it always does and nothing changed. Until one day everything did. Edward met Bella and it was clear from the start to someone who knew him like I did that he loved her. My heart soared for him yet at the same time broke in two. Once more I put the heartbreak in the chest. I focused on my affection for Esme and on helping Edward to cope with his turmoil over wanting Bella yet wanting to keep her safe. Wanting her to join him in the forever of the immortal world yet wanting to keep her human

I thought briefly of the heart and soul crushing pain I felt seeing him so tortured when he left Bella in an attempt to keep her human. Inwas able to push the love feuled portion of this into the chest but it was difficult. And then when he went to voltera and I thought him lost the pain threatened to overwhelm and crush me. I couldnt bear it. This was a pain too strong to shove in the chest so instead I convinced myself it was platonically based. But deep down I knew it stemmed from the love I felt for him and my inability to perceive a world without him in it.  
Thankfully the pain was short lived and it was swiftly followed by hearts paring joy at his survival which of course went in the chest. And overwhelming gratitude towards bella for saving him at her own risk.

Then an impossibly short time after they met by my standards Bella decided that she wanted to join our family. I was dreadfully sad yet also thrilled Edward would be alone no longer, Rosalie and Alice would gain a new sister. And dear motherly Esme would have another daughter. i focused on those things and every time the pain and sadness struck i carefully placed it in the chest.  
soon Bella and Edward got engaged and began planning a wedding. to me that was the final proof. I knew for sure now that Edward would never return my feelings and I was determined to be ok with that. After all I had been ok with it for nearly a century. I placed this new pain alongside the joy and pain and love in the chest.

Then this morning I had been quietly sitting reading in the lounge when Esme did something she had never done before. She kissed me passionately in the lounge right there on the sofa. I had always been careful never to be affectionate with Esme anywhere that Edward might be. I had no idea how I would feel if Edward saw us or if i saw him while in that situation. And I never considered how it might feel because i feared the answer. But Esme had given me no choice she practically accosted me. And then my fears were realised. Suddenly i saw Edward standing frozen in the doorway. His face unreadable, then suddenly he rushed upstairs. I knew I had been right to fear this because in the instant i saw him in the doorway I was overwhelmed with the longing wish that it was Edward in my arms not Esme. I broke from Esme's embrace and headed for my library. On the way I wrestled with this new longing it was harder to contain than almost anything I had felt before, but for Edwards sake I managed to force it into the chest. I opened my library door and there was Edward sat in a chair looking troubled  
I apologised for interrupting but he ushers me in.  
"Are you alright. You seemed upset when you left the lounge and you have the strangest expression on your face"  
I place my hand on his shoulder and realise it was a mistake. My hand burned with wonderful fire at the touch I knew I should remove my hand but I couldn't. Obviously I didn't get all of that latest feeling into the chest I would have to rectify that fact. Edward hasn't answered  
"You know you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you don't you"  
He pauses then "yes I know don't worry im fine."  
He stands releasing my hand.  
"I'm going to go and find bella. I haven't seen her all day"  
He left the room. I heard him pause in his doorway. Less than a minute later I heard Alice gasp downstairs and Edward raced towards her they go into the den where I couldn't hear them talk. Then I heard jasper race to the den as well. I was concerned and went downstairs but Didn't go intonthe den Soon Edward raced out of the den and out of the back door as he runs past me I see pain doubt and confusion on his face. He didn't see me.

"Alice " i called quietly.  
"Yes"  
"What's wrong with Edward"  
"I can't tell you Carlisle I promised not to tell anyone but I can tell you he is troubled at the moment "  
Alice walked away and I decided to follow Edward. He is fast but I followed his scent till he stops I was about to aproach when I realised he hadn't realised i was there and that he is talking to himself.  
"Edward you are an idiot. Why do you have to realise that you love him now of all times."  
He pauses and leans his head back against a tree  
"Why did I have to fall In Love with Carlisle at all" he groans.

At those words my heart exploded with joy thoughts of Bella and Esme didn't exist in that endless moment of pure euphoria. All that existed was the knowledge that he loves me. The sheer power of it took my unnecessary breath away. It took all my powers of control to stop the chest breaking open. For the first time i actually assessed that chest and I realised how large it had grow and how much it contained. I could see now that the love inside is so much greater than my love for Esme and I realise that it always had been. I knew then that there was no going back that it was time to accept what had always been there.  
My face was still showing the shock of Edwards revelation and my reaction as I stepped though the trees and into sight.

The memory show comes to an end and I slowly look up. Edwards eyes are wide.  
"Now you know everything"  
And with those words I dismantle the chest that has been my safe harbour for a century and allow the love and adoration it contained to overwhelm me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Nb The beginning of this one overlaps the last chapter.**  
**"XXXX" = speech (obviously) /****_XXXX_****/ = A thought Edward is hearing**

Edwards POV

I watched entranced as Carlisle showed me how he had fallen in love with me before he even turned me. How he had determined to keep it a secret to never act on it for my sake. He showed me The joy the pain and the heartbreak that his love for me had caused him over the last century Yet he still managed to contain it. And finally how a simple kiss had set in motion a chain of events that had led to the revealing of his love. It was enchanting fascinating heartbreaking and beautiful all at the same time. With the memory of him stepping through the trees just a few minutes ago the memory show came to an end.

"Now you know everything" he murmured .  
And then he dismantled his meticulously constructed chest and an incredible tidal wave of affection and love overwhelmed his mind. We were both frozen in shock and awe for the tiniest part of a second.

Neither of us knew who moved first but suddenly I found myself wrapped in Carlisle's arms love filled eyes staring intently into love filled eyes. Then Carlisle spoke the words that had been burning in his soul that he had longed to speak aloud for a century.  
"I love you Edward"  
"I love you too" I replied.  
Then he kissed me. It was Sweet and gentle at first but then the passion of long denied emotion took over and the kiss quickly became heated. His tongue stoked along my bottom lip requesting access. A request Which I quickly granted. Our tongues twined and danced exploring each others mouths each learning the other. My body felt like it was aflame, fireworks of passion and love exploded behind my eyelids. We had no need to breath and nothing of the world around could touch us in the bliss of this endless moment.  
We finally broke apart but remained wrapped in each others arms, Carlisle rested his forehead against mine.  
/_wow_/  
My thoughts exactly I replied with a grin.

"We need to tell the others. We need to tell Bella and Esme"  
/_poor Esme_/  
"Don't worry Carlisle I know she will understand. And Bella's reactions have never been what I expect I'm sure she will cope as well. "  
"Yes I'm sure your right" he smiled at me.  
"We should tell Alice first I'm sure she has already seen. we could ask her to come out here out of earshot of the others to talk to her and ask her to get jasper emmet and Rosalie out of the house while we talk to Esme and Bella."  
"Yes that sounds like a plan. "

I get my phone out and call alice  
"Hello Edward what do you want?" She asked frostily  
" I'm out in the Forrest can you come and meet me"  
"ok i had another vision by the way ill tell you when i get there" she said grumpily then hung up  
I had heard the wind rushing pash her as she ran so i knew she was on her way, Carlisle had heard Alice's side of the conversation of course.  
"She sounded unhappy. " he sounded worried  
/_what if she doesn't approve what if none of them approve what if this destroys the family_/  
"Carlisle this won't destroy the family " i reassured him gently "they will either be happy or they will cope but nobody will leave"  
/_Esme_/  
Even Esme will stay I feel sure of it. And even if everybody left. Your my mate and I am yours as long as we have each other we will be fine" I hugged him close. his worrisome thoughts vanished and he smiled  
"Your right of course"  
I released him as I heard Alice's thoughts approaching. They were angry but undefined. She burst through the trees and stopped right in front of me a furious expression on her face and began to yell  
"There is no trace of the wedding left no trace. You are utterly determined to cancel I saw it. your being so stupid. You are ruining your life, and Bella's, your throwing away a wonderful mate a happy life all for the sake of someone who will never feel the way you do whats the point of wrecking everything for a love that will never be returned" she waved her hand towards Carlisle For emphasis then she froze. Her face turned from furious to horrified and she clapped both hands over her mouth.  
"Edward I'm so sorry I didn't mean to tell him it just came out."  
I smiled.  
"It's alright Alice I've told him" I wondered briefly why she hasn't seen then I realised  
"You told him?"  
"We'll to be precise he overheard me berating myself about it"  
"Then why didn't i see"  
"Well you know how sometimes a vision upsets of angers you so much that u focus on it to the point where it block other visions"  
"Yes" she said slowly confused I gave her a pointed look  
"Oh" she cleared her mind and waited. Then her eyes go blank  
"What's she seeing" Carlisle asked me  
"She's seeing the memories that you showed me"  
Alice's eyes focused again and she had an utterly dejected look on her face  
"Oh Carlisle it must have Been so hard for you all these years"  
"It was. " he said solemnly, then he wrapped his arms round me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder  
"But Im happy now"  
"Yes" Alice said pleased then her eyes unfocused again for a few moments  
"Wow" she murmured  
"What" I asked I hadn't caught the vision as it passed though her mind as I had been distracted by the feel of Carlisle arms around me.  
"Well you know how the first vision I ever had was of jasper and I just knew from the vision that he was my true mate"  
"Yes" I prompted  
"Well that last vision was similar it was the two of you but it was forever in an instant."she gave us her signature grin "You two really are true mates."  
"I know" we said together and then smiled  
"How are you going to tell Esme and Bella?"  
"That's what we wanted to talk to you about"  
"Could you take the others hunting. So we can talk to them in private?"  
"Of course"  
"Thank you"  
"We'll we may as well get this over with" Carlisle sighed releasing me reluctantly.  
Alice ran ahead to get the others out of the house  
"How do you want to do this" Carlisle asked as we ran  
"I think we should talk to them individually you go find Esme and talk to her upstairs and I will take Bella into the den"  
"Sounds good"  
We ran on in comfortable silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN Hi the next chapter after this one will be mainly Bella's POV then several chapters will alternate between where Bella is with mainly Bella POV and forks with mainly Edward POV Bella will come back at some point (not sure how many chapters yet) and then the chapters will go back to the original structure :-) **

**AN 2 sorry that chapters are taking longer to get up I had a few days of lots of time but generally am v busy with a 1 year old. Dw tho the chapters will keep coming all be it slower than before. :-)**

When we arrived back at the house it was empty except for Esme and Bella they were sitting on the sofa in the den watching a chick flick. They turned to look at us as we walked in. Carlisle spoke first.  
"Esme could I have a word with you upstairs please"  
His thoughts were worrisome and guilty. I gave him a reassuring pat on his arm. I felt the same.  
"Of course" Esme replied with a smile.

Carlisle's POV  
Esme and I flew up the stairs together and into my study. she perched on the edge of my desk while I went to the large window and looked out.  
"What is it dear" she asked.  
I didn't know how to say it I couldn't find the words. In the end I decided to just come straight out with it  
"I cant be with you anymore, I'm in love with Edward I have been for some time and he feels the same he's my true mate" it came out a lot harsher than I had wanted.  
"I'm sorry " I didn't turn from the window.  
She came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder  
"Please stop feeling so guilty it's all right I understand." I looked at her tentatively.  
"Really?"  
"Really.!"  
"Thank you for being so gracious about this"  
"Your welcome."  
"You will stay with the family tho won't you?" I half expected a no  
"Of course i will you and Edward are my companions the others are my children. I won't leave any of you, you can't control how you feel and who you love"  
"Your being more wonderful about this that I deserve"  
She just smiled. Then her eyes brightened as an idea came to her.  
"I don't really fancy moving into one of the spare rooms they are awfully decorated she said with a smirk that made me wonder what she was up to  
"Do you think Edward would mind swapping rooms with me"  
"You mean move Edward in with me? Are you sure you don't mind so soon?"  
"Of course not you two get a room together I get the second best room in the house we all win"  
I grinned at her  
"We'll you will have to check with Edward but I think its a great idea"  
"Ok then"  
We went out and stood in the hallway looking at the forest through the glass back wall and waited for Edward.

Edwards POV  
Esme and Carlisle flew upstairs. I felt for him for what he had to do he was such a gentle souled creature. I knew that however well Esme took it him leaving her would hurt and causing that pain would hurt my Carlisle.  
I went to sit by Bella in Esme's vacated spot. I didn't know what to say how to do this so I started with a general greeting  
"Have you had a good day"  
"Yes thank you. Are you ok? You look troubled"  
"Yes. and no" I replied "we need to talk"  
"If your going to try and talk me into staying human its not going to work. I fully intend to be a vampire. I don't fit in the human world i belong in your world and in your family"  
"That's not what I wanted to talk about. You do belong in my world I can see that now and you do belong in this family but" I paused the rest of the words had got stuck in my throat I was going to hurt her so much I was about to do what I had sworn never to do.  
"But what Edward"  
I tried again  
"You do belong in this world and this family but not as my mate"  
She didn't speak didn't move. I looked at her to see her face frozen in shock.  
"I'm sorry" I whispered. She looked at my eyes and her expression broke. I could tell that she had realised at least half of it. That my love was no longer for her that it now belonged to another.  
She leapt up and rushed for the door. she ran out for once not tripping in her hurry a minute later I heard her truck start and drive away. She hadn't said a word since my bombshell.  
At first I couldn't move then i heard Carlisle shift upstairs. I heard in his thoughts that he was waiting for me. My frozen body thawed in an instant and I flew to his side.  
"I'm guessing that didn't go well" of course he has heard Bella's hasty exit.  
"Better than I expected if I am honest. How did Esme take it"  
"Astoundingly well. She intends to stay with the family"  
"I told you so" I chuckled I couldn't resist the old cliche.  
"In fact she has a question to ask you"  
"Oh"  
I turned to Esme.  
"What is it"  
"Well. I'm none to keen on our guest rooms and in my opinion you have the second best room in the house so I was wondering if you would be willing to swap with me"  
"You mean move in with Carlisle?" I was staggered, how could Esme be this alright with things this fast  
"Yes if you don't mind. Carlisle likes the idea but he said I had to check with you"  
I looked at Carlisle and he grinned back at me  
"I love the idea if your sure."  
"Of course in sure. I will do all the moving I don't want any help you will only mess it up." She smiled at me to show that she was teasing then ran to the garage, in less than a minute she was back with a stack of cardboard boxes. She varies them into my room and I could hear her packing my things swiftly into the boxes. Carlisle turned to me the smile on his face was dazzling. He wrapped his arms gently round my waist.  
"I haven't been this happy in a hundred years"  
"I know the feeling" I replied returning his smile and his embrace.  
He kissed me fiercely i distantly heard Esme chuckle as she passed usbin the hallway and then the world around completely disappeared. I


	6. Chapter 6

Bella's POV.  
I left the house at a near run. How could this be happening? just yesterday he had professed his undying love. This was different to the time he had left. This time he really didn't love me anymore. I had seen the truth in his eyes. The love that used to burn there for me was gone. it had been replaced with a love for someone else. And what hurt worse was that the love burning there now was an inferno a hundred times stronger than my fire had been. I had to figure out what to do it wasn't hard to decide. A plan was already forming in my mind. I pulled over and made two phone calls the first to Sam Uley  
"Hello Bella its unusual for you to call me you usually call Seth"  
"I know but I need a favour"  
"Oh ?"  
"Something's happened, don't worry I'm fine but I really need to see Jacob, i know that if you give an order in a certain way he has to do it, could you pretty please phase and order him to come to first beach as fast as he can run and could you also order him that no matter how he feels about what I have say to him he is not to attack Edward or any of the others"  
"What's happened Bella has he hurt you" Sam demanded  
"No" I insisted quickly "well yes but not in that way" I paused "he's left me, don't panic I'm ok this time and I already know what I'm going to do but I need to see Jacob ASAP and I don't want him hurting the cullens in a fit of peak. Please Sam"  
"Alright give me a minute" the line went quiet but he hadn't hung up, a few minutes later he was back  
"Ok. Jacob is running this way as we speak he was just this side of the Canadian border but he is very fast, he will be at first beach In About an hour. I warn you tho he hates me laying down the law. he's pissed at me for doing it and at you for asking. And the bit about the cullens has him worried"  
"Thank you Sam" I said earnestly and was about to hang up when Sam spoke again  
"You will tell me what your going to do soon won't you"  
"Of course but I have to sort things out first. "  
I hung up. Then dialled another number one I had never called before  
"Hello" Tanya said as she answered the phone  
"Hello Tanya it's Bella"  
"Hello Bella what can I do for you"  
"Ok I know this is a really weird request seeing as I haven't even met you yet but something has happened and I'd like to come stay with you for a while." I paused "and I want to bring a wolf" I waited  
"I think you had better explain what's going on"  
"Well today Edward told me that the wedding was off because he didn't love me anymore and I could tell that he meant it. he has fallen in love with someone else. And I still intend to be a vampire 1 because of the Voltori and 2 because I still feel that I belong in your world and I will probably go back to the cullens eventually but right now I want to be with people who I can trust who know everything and who aren't them And I want to bring a wolf because Jacob is my best friend and he was there for me before and I need him now" I said it all in a garbled rush now on the verge of tears but Tanya with her enhanced hearing was able to catch it all. She didn't speak for about ten seconds  
"Oh Bella honey that's awful, of course you are more that welcome here for as long as you want if you would like I will change you myself. And if you need this Jacob then he is welcome as well."  
"Thank you Tanya. We will be there early tomorrow"  
I hung up. I sat in the car for a few minutes more while I collected my thoughts and pushed back the tears. It wouldn't do to cry now I knew once I started I wouldn't stop I would wait until I was with jake. Suddenly the urge to see him intensified. I started the car and pulled back onto the road I began driving as fast as I safely could to first beach. When I got there I parked, got out of the car and walked onto the beach I got about half way to the sea then sat heavily on the stones. I stared into the waves and tried not to think. I was still sat there mesmerised by the waves crashing into the shore when Jacob arrived and sat next to me  
"Ok Bella what's going on that made you feel the need to have Sam drag me back here. And why will it make me want to attack the cullens.?" His words were harsh but his tone was worried and friendly.  
I could barely get my voice to work to reply.  
"He left me, he means it this time, he loves someone else" I managed to choke out before I began crying.  
"Oh Bella honey that's horrible. How could he do that to you" he growled "i see the point of the no attacking Edward order now" I swatted his arm gently but couldn't speak through the tears now flowing down my face like a flood.  
"It will all be ok somehow I'm here for you" he wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his shoulder and bawled. Jacob held me for a long time until the tears slowed and the loud sobs turned into hiccups. Finally they stopped altogether and I sat up.  
"I just can't believe this. We were supposed to be getting married in two weeks. i was supposedly the most important thing in his world he promised to love me forever and i believed him. I really though we would be together forever, especially after last night, we seemed to fit so well."  
Jacob instantly latched onto one piece of my rambling.  
"What happened last night"  
I blushed, I had said more than I had intended. I didn't want to answer but I could tell from his face that he wasn't going to let this drop.  
"Erm. well. A few weeks ago, shortly after the battle with the newborns Edward and I were discussing human experiences and the fact that I would feel different after I was changed. I don't care about human experiences generally. But after seeing that newborn in the clearing. Seeing how her bloodlust was all consuming I was a little concerned about one way that I would be different. I was worried that after I was changed I would want blood more than I would want Edward. I decided there was one experience I wanted before I was changed. Edward agreed to it although he insisted we wait until after the wedding. But last night he changed his mind. Decided I could have it straight away after all"  
"What experience" Jacob demanded but from the growl in his voice I had a feeling he had guessed  
"Sex" I whispered. Jacob growled loudly.  
"You do know your an idiot for suggesting that don't you. And he is a bigger idiot for agreeing. He could have killed you. If his control had slipped for a single moment he could have crushed you."  
I opened my mouth to argue but he put his hand over it.  
"Rants over let's not argue. That's only the smaller part of my anger"  
"What's the larger part"  
"The fact that He breaks up with you the day after sleeping with you for the fist time. Of all the nasty slimy things to do" he was getting very irate each word was punctuated with snarls.  
"Calm down Jacob. I'm sure he has his reasons"  
Jacob just growled again. We sat in silence for a few minutes while Jacob calmed down and I fought a return of the tears. Finally Jacob spoke.  
"What are you going to do now? are you going to stay human?"  
"No, I still intend to be a vampire. I belong in that world I can feel it"  
"Ok. I will be here for you even as a vampire"  
"I was hoping you would say that"  
"Where are you going to go?"  
"Well I have to go back to the Cullen's house and talk to Edward I need to know more. Don't try and talk me out of it i need to know who this new person is. And then I am going to go and stay with another vegetarian clan in Denali. I said I would be there early tomorrow. I was hoping you would come with me"  
Jacob was surprised by that request but he didn't miss a beat  
"Of course I will come Bella . If we are going back to the Cullen's before hitting the road we should probably make a move as soon as you are ready" I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and got to my feet.  
"Come on then" I started walking towards my car. Jacob reached it first and opened the passenger door for me. I gave him a dirty look but got in. He walked round the bonnet and got in the drivers side and reversed away from the beach. I looked out of the window in science and steeled myself ready to face Edward.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay. This chapter is a lot longer than the others but it felt like it should be one chapter. I can't garenteed continuity with chapter length I'm afraid. :-). **

Edward POV.  
I reluctantly ended our kiss but remained in Carlisle's arms.  
We should tell the others" I murmured  
"I agree. I'm guessing you already have an idea about how to do that"  
"Indeed I do. I don't have the faintest idea how Rosalie and Emmet will react but with Jasper's gift I think he will understand quickly so I'm thinking we ask Alice to bring Jasper back and tell him then ask him to help control the atmosphere while we tell Rosalie and Emmett. "  
"Once again that sounds like a good plan darling"  
I smiled shyly. Carlisle noticed.  
"What is it  
"You called me darling"  
"I did didn't I"  
"I like it"  
my smile got bigger and Carlisle smiled back. He leaned in to kiss me again  
"Don't you have an empath to talk to" Esme giggled as she passed us with a box full of my CDs. I pulled back reluctantly.  
"She's right you know"  
"i know" carlisle sighed "i like kissing you go on make your call before i give in to temptation" he winked at me  
I pulled out my phone and dialled Alice's number  
"Moving in together already" was her opening greeting, of course she had been watching to see how things went. I walked down to the lounge and sat on the sofa as we spoke Carlisle followed sat next to me and wrapping his arms back round me began nusseling my neck. It made it hard to concentrate on the conversation.  
"I hope your out of ear shot of the others"  
"Of corse Edward I'm not an idiot. Now why are you calling"  
"I'd like you to bring Jasper back please, only Jasper we want to tell him first so that he can help us tell Rosalie and Emmet I have no idea how they will react"  
"We are on our way" she hung up.  
I tuned to look at Carlisle"  
Your very affectionate today"  
"I've wanted this for nearly a hundred years and I can still hardly believe its happening forgive me for making the most of it." He grinned "now where were we. He leaned in for a kiss and this time I didn't resist. His lips pressed against mine hungrily his tongue sought and gained entrance our tongues duelled playfully learning what the other liked. One of carlisles hands tangled in my hair and the other moved up the back of my shirt. I moaned into his mouth as I felt his touch send streaks of fire through my skin. My hands roamed up his back under his jumper and it was his turn to moan. I started stroking gentle circles on his back with my fingers and his hands tightened around me half pulling me onto his lap causing us both to topple backwards against the arm of the sofa. Carlisle was now half laying reclined on the sofa and I was sprawled across his chest the fall hadn't broken our kiss. We were lost in the feel and taste of each other and it didn't occur to us that we were now in a position more suited to a bedroom than a family living room. We had also forgotten in the heat of the moment that we were waiting for Alice and Jasper to arrive. Suddenly we heard a gasp from the kitchen doorway followed by a giggle from Alice and a gasp of "What the hell" from Jasper. ,

I was used to knowing people were approaching by their thoughts so the unexpected arrival of jasper startled me. I leaped away from Carlisle in surprise with a lot more force than necessary hit my head on the ceiling and landed at the other end of the sofa with a thump. Carlisle sat up a slightly embarrassed smile gracing his features he straightened his clothes and then grabbed my arm and pulled me back along the sofa so that I was snuggled against his chest. He kissed the spot on my head where it had collided with the ceiling and then looked at Jasper I followed his gaze. Jasper had collected himself and Alice was doing her best not to laugh too hard at me. She was failing.  
Jasper still shocked ignored Alice and looked at me,  
"I'm guessing you changed your mind about telling Carlisle how you felt"  
"Not exactly he followed me into the Forrest to make sure I was ok and overheard me berating myself"  
"Turned out alright tho I see"  
"Fortunately he felt the same"  
Alice and Jasper came to sit on the sofa with us. Jasper sat next to me and alice sat on his lap facing us and snuggled into his chest Jasper wrapped his arms around her And rested his chin on her head.  
For a minute Jasper was busy tasting all the emotions in the room then he looked up and gave Carlisle a look  
"How long have you felt the same Carlisle"  
"I have loved Edward ever since I first laid eyes on him"  
jasper looked satisfied  
"I had my suspicions when I first joined your family you used to have emotion spikes that seemed more likely to be aimed at Edward that esme but them they stopped and I assumed I was wrong"  
"I learnt to control my emotions"  
Jasper just nodded. Then he looked at Carlisle intently again then smiled. I read his thoughts and laughed delightedly.  
"Ok what is it" Carlisle demanded looking at us both  
"You tell him jasper you will explain it better"  
Carlisle looked at jasper expectantly  
"We'll ever since I have known you no matter what was happening and no matter how you felt there was a part of you that was intensely sad even in your most joyous times it was there. At first I had no idea why then as I got to know you I began to believe that it was the part of you that still hates what you are torturing for being a vampire and for condemning others to This life. Yet even as our family grew and we were clearly happy as vampires happy together that part of you remained sad it has always worried me. Yet now when I reach out to feel you it is gone there is no trace of it left, I see now that it was your love for Edward torturing you and now that you are free to love him that dark place is gone. All I feel from you right now it pure untainted love and joy. It is wonderful Carlisle I am so happy for you for you both."  
I grinned at carlisle. "Jaspers right the dark spot in your mind that has always existed is gone".  
Carlisle grinned the biggest grin yet  
"yes it is, and all because of you my love" he leaned in and kissed me soundly.  
Jaspers thoughts turned concerned, something had occurred to him.  
"I'm guessing by the fact that you aren't afraid to sit here kissing that you have told Bella and Esme. How did they take it?"  
I twisted round to look at Jasper, Carlisle didn't remove his arms from around me so that now he was sitting leaning against the back corner of the sofa and I was next to him leaning against his chest. I placed my hands on top of his which were wrapped around my waist.  
"Bella took it better that I expected, i think she realised there was someone else but i didn't get chance to tell her outright or to mention who it was. As soon as I told her the wedding was off she just walked out, no shouting or crying".  
"And Esme took it astoundingly well" added Carlisle. "To be honest her reaction confused me"  
"Perhaps I owe you all an explanation" Esme said as she bounced down the stairs and sat in the armchair. She wasn't at all bothered by the way Carlisle and I were cuddled up Together.  
"I reacted well to the news that you want to be with Edward because I have been waiting for it. I have always know that you love Edward dear and I knew that one day something would bring the two of you together. I am pleased that the day has come and you can both be happy. " we all stared at her gobsmacked.  
"I think you should explain " Carlisle managed to choke out through his shock  
Esme looked at Carlisle and directed her explanation at him.  
"Ok well you know your theory that vampires bring their strongest human traits though to this life and some are intensified to the point of being supernatural gifts and you think that it was my compassion that was brought through and intensified"  
"Yes" Carlisle prompted.  
"Well your right in a way but what you don't know is that When i was turned i gained a gift. Its Similar to Jasper's but much more specific. I can sense love. It's presence Intensity and focus. I knew you loved Edward as soon as I met you and I also knew that you had no intention of acknowledging or admitting it. You fell in love with me too to a lesser degree and i reciprocated also I wanted to be a part of your family so I accepted you as a mate. I knew you were settling but that was ok. soon i noticed Edward begin to see you in the capacity of a mate and when he did I could feel him fell in love with you. However he didn't realise it himself.  
I have always known that loving him and hiding it prevented you from being fully happy. I hoped that one day you would both recognise your feelings and become mates. The years passed though and neither of you showed signs of admitting your feelings and I grew concerned. I wanted you both to be happy. Yet I had no intention of interfering it wasn't my place. Also knew that the last thing you wanted was for anyone to know how you felt so I never said anything and I hid my gift from Edward and later from jasper. Then Edward met Bella and he fell in love, he loved her deeply but I could tell he was settling even if he couldn't. As they became more serious you grew sad, as much as you tried to hide it I knew you well enough to be able to tell. They got engaged and you grew sadder. I decided that enough was enough. You were never going to acknowledge your feelings by yourself it was time to act. I knew that if I could get Edward to recognise his feelings it would likely set of a chain reaction which would result in you admitting yours. So I broke your biggest unwritten rule. I knew that you avoided kissing me where Edward might see and I knew why. I also knew that the best way to get Edward to realise his feelings was for him to see you in the act of a being a lover i knew it would make him jealous and then he would be forced to consider why, which would result in him realising his feelings. So I waited till Edward was on the way home from hunting and I kissed you in full view. It worked exactly as I had hoped. All I had to do then was wait for you to come and tell me. Once I saw you follow Edward to the Forrest I knew it wouldn't be long. "  
Esme finished her speech and sat back A grin on her face. We all sat there in shocked silence at the revelation,  
"Crickey Esme your sneaker that me" Alice was the one to break the silence  
"I cant believe You planned this!" I said incredulously"  
"We'll I sure didn't see that coming" said jasper  
"That is one hell of a conspiracy" Carlisle added  
"We'll I had to do something I couldn't let two of my boys carry on unhappy, you needed to realise you were meant for each other and you sure weren't going to do it for yourselves" esme smiled.  
"I think on some level I should be annoyed but I'm not." said carlisle "Thank you for leading to my true mate"  
"Yes thank you esme" I added "you truly are a selfless creature"  
"Thanks" she smiled shyly.  
We sat there for a moment then jasper spoke.  
"I have a feeling we may have got off topic. Edward why did you ask Alice to bring me home ahead of emmet and rosalie?"  
"Because I have no idea how they will react and I would like you to keep an eye on their mood while we tell them"  
"You've already told us bro" came a voice from the kitchen doorway. We all spun round and there stood emmet and rosalie. None of us had heard them come in.  
"How long Have you two been standing there" I asked  
"Since esme came downstairs" rosalie replied "we've heard everything. We didn't know that we were supposed to wait so we followed Alice and jasper home, when we came in we realised we were isn't erupting something but were intrigued by what was going on so we sorta eavesdropped" rosalie said looking at the floor.  
Saves us explaining it all I guess." I smiled.  
"Are you ok with this" Carlisle asked warily  
"Ok?" Emmet boomed. "I haven't ever seen the pair of you so happy and seeing as esme orchestrated the whole thing she's clearly fine with it. What is there to not be ok with." He pulled Carlisle and I to our feet and hugged us both forcefully. When he released us we remained standing. Carlisle wrapped his arm round my waist and i leaned my head on his shoulder. Rosalie still hadn't left the doorway. Carlisle noticed and turned to her.  
"Rose are you ok"  
"Yeah just trying to wrap my head round all this. I never would have imagined the two of you as a couple" she paused and cocked her head sideways "but looking at the pair of you together like that I can't believe I missed it all these years, your perfect together" she grinned. " congratulations".  
"One thing tho guys" she said with a sky smile on her fave  
"Yeas" Carlisle said carefully  
"When u guys get married. " she turned to Alice " the will eventually won't they?"  
Alice's face went blank for a second "yup definitely can't see when tho" she replied grinning  
Rosalie turned back to us "you'd better let Alice Esme and I plan the whole thing"  
Carlisle and I laughed. I looked at Carlisle for a second. I didn't need to read his mind to know what he was thinking, I turned back to rosalie "Of course Rose how Could we have it any other way. You three would slaughter is if we tried."  
We all laughed. Rosalie came over and hugged us both. We all sat down. Alice Carlisle and I on the sofa. Alice insisted on sitting between Carlisle and I one arm round each of our shoulders.

Where do you think Bella went.?" Emmet mused from one of the armchairs. .  
"I hope she is alright" Esme worried  
"I can't see her" Alice said  
"We'll then I guess that answers the where she went question." I observed "If Alice can't see her then she must have gone to Jacob."  
"That's not so good" Carlisle said  
"Why" rosalie asked  
I answered before Carlisle could.  
"Jacob doesn't have the best of tempers. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up with a wolf bursting through the door any minute"

"Actually I asked Sam to forbid him from attacking any of you"  
spoke a voice from the doorway. We all looked round. Bella stood there looking very controlled but her eyes were bright red. She had been crying. Behind her stood Jacob a murderous expression on his face but he was totally in control of himself.  
"You came back" I said in disbelief  
"Not for long. I came back for information then Jacob and I are going to Denali." She spoke sharply clearly angry with me.  
She came in and sat in the last free chair. Jacob stood protectively behind her.  
"May I ask what your plan is" queried Carlisle  
"Of course Carlisle your not the one I'm mad at" Carlisle looked guilty but Bella didn't seem to notice, she addressed Carlisle.  
"I still feel I belong in this world and I can't ignore the threat the Voltori pose, so for both those reasons I still intend to become a vampire. Tanya has offered to change me. I also don't intend going off on my own. I want to be with people who I can trust and who know everything and who I can coexist with as a vampire. Two families fit that bill yours and Tanya's. I'm sure you understand that I don't feel able to be around Edward right now so I am going to stay with Tanya's family for the time being. Jacob is coming because I need his friendship and company right now. "  
"You seem to have a very well thought out and carefully considered plan Bella. You will be happy in Denali I am sure. I hope one day you may consider rejoining us though you will always be welcome?"  
"Perhaps one day Carlisle. But I don't know when"  
She looked at me. I was suddenly conscious of Alice's arm around my shoulder worried that Bella would make assumptions but Bella knew Alice and Alice still had her other arm around Carlisle so i stopped worrying.  
"I need information Edward."  
"That's fair enough what do you want to know"  
"Your in love with someone else aren't you"  
"Yes"  
"How long"  
"I haven't been cheating on you if that's what you mean I would never do that"  
"I know, I'm guessing you decided you wanted to be with them shortly before you told me it was over"  
"Yes"  
"So how long have you loved them"  
"How long have I loved them or how long have I known that I loved them"  
"There's a difference?"  
"Yes"  
"Ok both"  
"I have loved them for many decades. I only realised it today though"  
"Oh. So you found out pretty quick that they reciprocated"  
"Yes. I hadn't meant to tell them but they overheard me talking to myself about it"  
"Ok fair enough" she paused seemingly deciding which question to ask next  
"Human or vampire "  
"Vampire"  
"Male or female"  
That one surprised me. I thought she would have assumed it was female. I should have realised that she would have the same beliefs that love was gender less as me  
"Male"  
"How long has he loved you"  
"Many decades"  
"Did he know all that time"  
"Yes but decided at the beginning to hide it perenantly he only revealed it because he overheard me talking to myself about my feelings for him"  
"Did he have a mate"  
"Yes"  
"Male or female"  
"Female"  
"Has he told her"  
"Yes"  
"How does she feel about it"  
esme interrupted the quick fire questions.  
"Bella may I answer that question I know her better that Edward does"  
"Of course esme"  
"Well. She understands that he and Edward are true mates, she has always know that they should be together but was unwilling to interfere with his decision to not make a move she has been waiting a very long time to see him truly happy and although she loves him deeply she wants what is best for him and is very happy for them both"  
"How has she always knows"  
"She possesses a gift enabling her to sense the presence intensity and focus of love, and she can identify wether a pair are true mates"  
Bella looked at esme strangely for a second I was concerned that esme might have given away that it was Carlisle prematurely. Bella clearly wanted all the information she sought before knowing who it was. I assumed that it was so she wouldn't make assumptions based on who it was. A very sensible thing to do I thought. then Bella's expression changed and i was reassured That she still had no clue. It occurred to me that she must think Carlisle so unlikely that the possibility of it being him hadn't occurred to her  
"That's extremely big of her" was her only comment.  
She looked at me really looked at me for over a minute.  
"There is something different about you Edward, you look content, truly content. I've never seen you like this. If this woman can accept things so readily then so can I. It must have been hard for you to tell me knowing how i reacted before, I've only been thinking of myself not about you. I am happy for you Edward."  
And she looked it. She was still sad but she was no longer angry. she had accepted things as totally as esme. I just hoped that wouldn't change once she found out who it was.  
"And Bella" esme added "there is someone out there who is your true mate too. You will find them don't worry"  
"Yes I'm sure your right" she looked slightly comforted  
"Right" she looked at me "final question Edward, I want to I know who he is"  
"Have you anyone in mind" I couldn't help but ask  
"Honestly Edward I have no clue"  
Alice got up and flitted over to jasper, imperceptibly to Bella's eyes Carlisle and I shifted to fill the gap so that we were sitting close together. I looked at Bella she hadn't noticed.  
I looked at Carlisle, for some reason I was scared to tell her. He could read the fear in my eyes  
It had been a minute since Bella has spoken  
"Edward. Please tell me"  
/would you like me to tell her love/ I nodded nearly imperceptibly.  
Carlisle looked at bella  
"it's me. i am Edward's mate"  
he couldn't help smiling as he said it. And hearing it from him his voice both sure and serene I couldn't help but smile too. He put his arm round my waist and I leant against him. Bella was clearly shocked  
"Carlisle?!" she stuttered to me. But then she looked at us really looked at us. And her expression went from flabbergasted disbelief to recognition to understanding and settled on pleased.  
"Yes I can see it now. You two fit. You look like you belong together. congratulations"  
"Thank you" I replied.  
"Yes thank you for your understanding Bella" Carlisle added  
/I hate to admit it especially as this has hurt Bella but they do look right together/  
I looked up at Jacob shocked.  
"Crap I forgot you could read minds for a second there"  
I smiled at him.  
"What did he think " Carlisle asked.  
"He thinks we look right together."  
"We'll we seem to have got universal acceptance "  
"Indeed we do. I love you"  
"And I love you"

"Bella times getting on we had better hit the road if we are doing to make it to Denali for morning". Jacob said clearly trying to distract her from our display of affection.  
"Yes your right Jacob. You go get the car started and i will be out in a moment"  
We all stood to wish her goodbye. She came up to Carlisle and I and hugged us both.  
"I really do understand and I really am happy for you. I don't think I will be away long but I do have to go for now"  
She turned and left the house. We heard the car doors shut and the car pull away.

"We'll that went about a hundred times better than I expected" Carlisle said with a grin  
"It certainly did" agreed Alice.  
"I'm going to get back to rearranging the bedrooms." Esme said as she shot back upstairs  
"Rearranging the bedrooms" rosalie asked.  
"I'll explain" said Alice grabbing Rosalie's hand "lets go help" they followed Esme.  
"Chess?" Jasper asked emmet  
"certainly" he replied.  
They headed into the den.  
Carlisle looked at me  
"Care for a swim in the river"  
"I'd love to" i replied  
"Race you" he laughed running full pelt out the back door. I gave chase at top speed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok this chapter was getting too long so i have decided to split it into two or three. but i want to finish this section of the story without going away from Bella so contrary to what i said before, the next 1or 2 chapters after this one will stay with Bella. Then i will alternate between the cullens and Bella until Bella returns to them. sorry if I have confused anyone and thank you for reading my story :-)**

Bella's POV  
I looked out of the window. It was shortly after midnight, and we were already half way to the alaskan boarder having crossed the boarder into Canada in the early evening, I had slept the first few hours of the trip and so wasn't tired. Jacob had insisted on doing all the driving, except that I had driven us away from the Cullen house, i presumed now that he had wanted to avoid the cullens hearing us disagree, as soon as we were on the highway he insisted i pull over and demanded i relinquish the driving seat, he had put his case bluntly yet convincingly,  
"I'm driving to Denali there's no point arguing you will lose, my reflexes are better i can drive twice as fast as you can and I don't get tired as quickly as you, so suck it up and hand over the keys" I had grudgingly given in. To give him his due we wouldn't be half as far as we were if I had been driving. Jacobs wolf senses allowed him to drive as fast as any of the Cullens,  
As I looked out of the window I noticed a sign advertising the food available at the local rest stop. I suddenly felt extremely hungry. I turned to Jacob.  
"Hey Jacob can we stop for food at this rest stop I'm starving."  
"Sure Bella no problem"  
He pulled off the highway and parked at the rest stop.  
"What do you want to eat"  
"They have an omelette stop here according to the signs, that sounds good to me"  
"Come on then let's get omelettes"  
I smiled at Jacob as ingot out of the car, while we had always been close something I couldn't put my finger in was drawing me to him more than ever before, I had been feeling it all day and it had for stronger as the day progressed.

An hour later we were back on the road full of cheese and bacon omelette and cola, I nodded off just as dawn was breaking over the horizon.  
Sometime later I felt Jacob shake my arm.  
"Bella honey we are here"  
I opened my eyes groggily and looked out of the windscreen. We were driving up a long driveway there were snow banks either side of the car. Ahead of us the snow opened up to a white clearing in the Centre of which was a large two storey cabin. It was beautiful with rustic charm that fitted perfectly Into the setting. Jacob parked and handed me a thick parka  
"It's thermal I picked it up at the rest stop while you were in the loo, we will need to get you some warm clothes for while we are here"  
I took the parka and put it on  
"Thanks jake"  
"Your welcome"  
We got out of the car and walked towards the front door, it opened When We got close to reveal a tall blonde vampire.  
"Bella Jacob welcome you made good time"  
I recognised the voice from our phone conversation so I knew it was Tanya  
"Hello Tanya thank you for having us"  
"Hello Tanya" Jacob greeted, then he noticed inward shivering even in the parka " we will need to get Bella warm clothes she doesn't have anything suitable for this wether"  
"It's alright Jacob Bella and Carmen are the same side and we all wear appropriate clothing so as not to stand out. Carman has already said that Bella is welcome to share her entire wardrobe while she is here"  
"That's very kind of her" I said  
"Come on in you two let me introduce you to everyone."  
We followed Tanya inside. She led us down a wool panelled hall into a large bright living room. The back wall had a large window looking out into the tundra, the walls were the colour of oak and the furniture was all shaded of white. Sat in the various seats were four vampires  
"I'm sorry to say that Irina decided to go away for a while some months ago and has not returned yet but let me introduce you to the others. " she gestured to a tall man with black hair and slightly olive skin a woman sat next to him with the same olive skin and black hair.  
"This is Elazar and his mate carmen  
"It's lovely to meet you I just wish it were better circumstances. Welcome to our home" carmen said warmly. Elazar gave me an intrigued and surprised look but said nothing. Tanya turned to a blonde woman and a sandy haired man. I refocused my attention into them as well  
"This is my sister Kate and her mate garret. "  
"You are both very welcome here" greeted Kate.  
"Thank you" I replied  
"Indeed welcome" said garret I looked at him to reply and froze in shock. Like the cullens the Denali clan all had the golden eyes of vegetarians. all that was except for garret. His eyes were a dull red, the sight of them scared me because they could mean only one thing I could t look away. He noticed me looking  
"I see you have noticed my eyes Bella, don't worry I won't hurt you I  
As much a vegetarian as the others  
"But jf you are a vegetarian why are your eyes red"  
"I am a new vegetarian. Kate and I met just a few weeks ago, I was a nomad passing through when I stumbled upon this clan, I was invited to visit with them i met Kate and I haven't left," He grinned at me. When i met Kate i I knew instantly she was my true mate she felt the same but made one insisted that I'd unwanted to join the family as her mate I had to change my diet." he smiled at Kate and put his arm round her sholders. "It wasn't a hard choice". He smiled at me and I smiled back tentatively

Suddenly I didn't feel too good I felt sick and oddly enough hungry. Jacob noticed  
"Bella are you ok you look kind of green"  
"No I don't feel too good"  
"What's wrong " asked Kate  
"I feel sick but also hungry"  
"I can make you some food dear" said Tanya "I went and bought human food after you called yesterday what do you fancy"  
"An omelette would be wonderful if possible Tanya"  
"Of course dear. You should sit down you look positively green "  
Tanya left the room, Jacob and Kate led me to the sofa and I sat down  
"Tanya is right Your really pale Bella"  
I didn't reply. I just focused on breathing steadily. Soon Tanya was back with the omelette. I ate it at a speed that surprised me. When I finished I leant against Jacob and closed my eyes, Jacob wrapped an arm around my shoulder. The heat was nice.  
"How are you feeling now Hun" he asked  
"A little better. But I feel drained, tired"  
"Why don't I show you to your rooms" Tanya suggested "Follow me."  
She led the way up the stairs that were In the far left of the living room up to a long hallway. We followed Tanya down to the end. "This is your room Jacob" she gestured to a room on the left of the hall "and this is yours Bella" she gestured to the one opposite  
"I have put bedding on both beds and Bella your room is next to carmen's her walk in closet is between the two rooms and your room also has a door leading to it. That's why I gave you this room. Carmen says to help yourself to all the clothes"  
"Thankyou Tanya and please thank carmen for me"  
I swayed and Jacob caught me  
"Come one Bella honey let's get you laying down for a nap."  
He led me into the bedroom and helped me lay down. In seconds I was asleep.

I opened my eyes slowly. It was dark outside my window. Jacob was asleep in the chair at the end if the bed, I looked at the clock it was midnight, I had slept all day, my stomach growled noisily. It seemed I was hungry again. I got out of bed and went to the door careful not to wake Jacob and headed downstairs to find Tanya. I found her in the living room playing cards with garret Kate and carmen.  
"Hey Tanya I don't suppose I could have another omelette could I I'm starving?"  
"Of course Bella I will get it straight away" she headed for the kitchen.  
I went over to the table where they had been playing cards and sat down in a free chair  
"What are you playing?"  
"Hearts" carmen replied. "Do you know it?"  
"Yeah I played it with my dad a lot"  
"Tanya" Kate called "do you mind if Bella plays your cards for a few hands"  
"Not at all" Tanya called back  
"Come on Bella join in" Kate encouraged  
I picked up Tanya's cards willingly and played hearts with the others while Tanya was cooking. I was a good player but carmen was thrashing us all, before I knew it Tanya was back with my omelette , I handed Tanya her cards and took the omelette, I ate while watching the others play. It was delicious but As I ate the last mouthful I suddenly felt really sick  
"Tanya" I said desperately "wheres the downstairs bathroom?"  
Tanya took one look at my face and picked me up flying me to a toilet she put me down in front of it And I threw up noisily. My stomach heaving violently. When I was done I sat up and took the glass Tanya offered and rinsed my mouth. Then I put my hand on my stomach intending to rub my aching muscles. But as I touched my lowed abdomen my hand froze. I pulled up my top and touched my Lower stomach again.  
Tanya saw my worried expression  
"What is wrong Bella"  
"My Lower stomach its really hard like rock hard. And it's cold too  
"May I?" She asked gesturing to my stomach with her hand  
"Of course"  
Tanya touched my stomach. Then she looked concerned  
"Bella in gong to make a phone call you go sit on the sofa"  
"Not Carlisle don't call Carlisle"  
"Don't worry I'm not going to make you face him or Edward until you are ready"  
"How did you know That its Carlisle? I didn't tell you"  
"Edward called after you left and brought us up to speed"  
"Oh. Ok. Who are you gong to call"  
"A friend who lives in the amazon jungle" she saw my puzzled expression as far as I knew the amazon did t have cell phone reception yet  
"she has a satellite phone"  
"Oh ok"  
I went to the living room Jacob was there now.  
"Bella I woke up and you weren't there. "  
"Sorry I didn't want to wake you but I was hungry. "  
"That's alright so have you had something to eat?"  
"Yes, but then I threw up. And there's Something wrong with my stomach"  
"What's wrong with your stomach"  
"It's really hard and cold, here feel"  
I put Jacobs hand on my stomach  
His expression turned worried as he felt the cold hardness beneath my skin  
"I see what you mean, what do you thing is wrong?"  
"i have no idea, I think Tanya might know what it is but she hasn't told me yet. She has gone to make a phone call"  
"Oh ok"  
We sat in companionable silence waiting for Tanya to return. When she did her expression was very worried yet also determined.  
"Bella are you ok to speak freely in front of Jacob?"  
"Yes Jacob knows everything about me"  
"We'll I have spoken to a friend called Hulien who lives in the amazon about what is happening to you. The tiredness the hunger the throwing up and the strange stomach all happened to her sister a long time ago"  
"So your friend knows what is wrong?"  
"Yes"  
"Is it some kind of rare disease?"  
"Rare yes but not a disease  
"What is it?"  
"Your pregnant."  
"what " i stuttered "are you sure?"  
"positive your pregnant With a vampire human hybrid. It will grow exceptionally fast that is why you are getting symptoms already."  
I was shocked. pregnant?! I couldn't be surely. but it made sense. I folded my hands over my stomach, and tried to comprehend the idea that there was a baby in there. As I accepted the news I was filled with love for this tiny creature. My baby, Edwards baby. It seemed right somehow. He wasn't meant for me i knew that now, but now I would have a part of him. I smiled.  
Tanya saw my reaction. And guessed my feelings.  
"I had a feeling you would want the baby."  
"Yes of course i do, You said your friend Hulien had a sister who had a baby like this"  
"Yes" she said carefully frowning as she said it. her frown worried me  
"Whats the matter did something happened to her"  
"Erm well. I don't want to scare you Bella but She didn't survive the birth,"  
"I gasped"  
" it seems these babies aren't born normally through the vagina. Huliens nephew bit his way out of his moms stomach killing her in the process"  
I was frozen in shock as was Jacob but he recovered fast he gasped and opened his mouth to start ranting but Tanya interrupted  
"Bella I have to warn you, this baby will be strong stronger than you in just a few days and it will grow fast. Huliens sister pyre was pregnant for only 40 days and then the child killed her Getting out. But if your sure about having this child Hulien and I have a plan that we think will keep you alive. and get you a healthy baby. "  
"How" Jacob demanded.  
"Well we start with proactive prenatal care, we know from pyres experience the baby won't adsorb nutrients form Bella eating normal food." She turned to me " You will need normal food to keep your strength up but if we don't feed the baby first it will continue to make you throw up whatever you eat and prevent you adsorbing nutrients." she paused obvioulst worried about my reaction to the next part of her plan, considering the nature of this baby it wasn't hard to guess what it would need  
"The baby needs blood doesn't it?"  
"Yes and you will have to drink blood I'm afraid"  
"Ok so who is going hunting for me?"  
"We'll Bella to give you both the best chance you need to be as strong as possible so it will be best if you have human blood"  
she looked at me waiting for my reaction. I frowned then thought of my baby. If that's what it needed...  
"Ok I can do that" I said  
"Good. Hulien and her nephew are coming to stay here for a while to help. They are procuring some blood for you on the way". She had a guilty eapreasion as she said it I gave her a look  
"Procuring how exactly?"  
"Don't worry bella of course I wouldn't dream of letting her kill someone"  
"Let her" i asked  
"Erm well Hulien and Nahuel aren't vegetarians Hun"  
I gasped.  
"But their your friends"  
"Bella you need to understand that vampires in general don't see humans as people but simply as a food source, we and the Cullens are unusual. Not being a vegetarian doesn't make them bad or unpleasant people they simply live the way vampires normally do. They are lovely people trust me."  
"Ok that is fair enough I guess"  
I shot Jacob a look  
"I guess that makes sense, and as they are coming to help Bella I will put put up with their diet"  
I realised we had got of topic.  
"Tanya how exactly are they Getting me human blood"  
"Erm. Well." She looked guilty again. "they are gong to rob a blood bank"  
I was startled for a second and then I burst out laughing. Jacob chuckled then looked back at Tanya,  
"What's the rest of the plan to Keep Bella alive "  
He demanded  
"Well Pyre's pregnancy was 40 days so Hulien and I think its about 1 day to 1 week of a human pregnancy. So we are thinking that to avoid this baby chewing its own way out at about day 37 we will deliver the baby by Caesarian. If we avoid the baby ripping its way out we should avoid fatal damage to Bella. But she will still be very weak by then so as soon As the baby is out I will change her"  
"So I won't be surviving this human"  
"No definitely not"  
"Ok. That's fine"  
"Will the plan work though" Jacob demanded. Tanya tuned to him  
"Hulien and I think that if we keep Bella well fed we should keep her strong enough pull through as long as we are proactive about getting the baby out before it is far enough along to want out" she turned to me "Don't worry at 37 days it will be as strong as a full term baby."  
"Sounds like a plan to me"  
"That's good" she smiled "I'm gong to go clean up the kitchen"

She left and I looked at Jacob.

"Pregnant wow." I said.  
"Wow indeed."  
He looked at me then at my hands over my stomach.  
"I feel like I should be calling you an idiot for keeping this baby, especially when it puts you at such risk but somehow I feel like the baby is important." he paused then looked me straight in the eye "I'm here for you. I will make sure you both get through this safely"  
"Thank you Jacob." i smiled at my belly and then at him  
"Your right this baby is important"  
"May I" he asked his hand hovering over my stomach  
"Sure " I said.  
He placed his hand on my stomach and smiled.  
" It's a girl, I'm sure its a girl I can sense it. "  
"We will have to wait and see if you are right" I smiled again  
Jacob leaned towards my belly. He looked fascinated  
"What is it Jacob" I asked.  
"Well ypu know i have always felt a pull towards you"  
"yes"  
"well That pull I've always felt towards you has grown these last few days but its strange, now I know that your pregnant i realise the pull isn't coming from you at al it's coming from here "  
he rested his hand on my belly again. " from her"  
I smiled.  
"Maybe she will be your imprintee".  
"Maybe" he said softly still staring at my belly  
"It Would certainly give you a place in my family like u always wanted" I laughed.  
"Year it would." He laughed back."but hardly in the way I had envisioned"


End file.
